Spirituality as the Object of Greed

Waking up to ego’s whispers, and letting them float downstream

There are times when I pine for my own goodness. I want it so bad that the very desire narrows my vision to where I can only see my shortcomings. Everything tightens around me, and I end up missing huge opportunities to express compassion, to see needs I could have easily fulfilled — all because I have this desperate, ego-driven need to be good.

But is it that?
Is it a desire to be good?
Or is it the desire to be seen as good?
Such a fine, invisible line between the two.

Example: I was doing the floors one day, filled with a sense of virtue. (My wife usually does the floors, so in my mind I was doing her a big favor.) As I worked on the stains in the linoleum, carefully reaching into the corners, doing a thorough job of it, I caught myself strategizing how I would let her know I did the floors (in case she didn’t notice). The whole time I worked, I was creating different conversational scenarios into which I would casually drop the news. I kept tweaking what I would say so it would…