I’m Not Depressed.

That’s just the color my day’s using for the day.

image courtesy of stock.adobe.com

So, hello.

I did not start this new year with anything remotely smacking of intention. I oozed in. Slow and foggy. I slept through most of the first few days.

There are things to do about this state. But they’re “doing” things, and I’m suspicious of that. I ran away from my children’s childhoods with all my doing. I prioritized all the wrong things. Man, was I busy. And accomplished.

And what I have to show for it now is the memory of all the ‘work’ I did to shield myself from their pain.

I bet that’s pretty common. I see plenty of mothers doing it. Maybe it’s just what we do to keep moving forward when we’re overwhelmed.

I’m older now. So when I sleep through the fireworks of the New Year and mope around for a while, unsure of the time of day, not caring, I’ve learned that sometimes, this is just what we do.

But that’s too simple. So we pathologize it.

When we’re low, immediately it’s depression and there’s a whole pharmaceutical universe ready and waiting for us. But what if we’re just low? What if there is a palette of colors for each human being, each color an emotional energy? It shifts and changes all the time. Sometimes the changes are…