Since leaving social media
I have a private relationship with the world.
We’re closer.
And,
just like a child smiles
differently
in front of your camera
than up at you from their
bedtime story
before sleep,
the moon pulled me
differently last night.
I had to step barefoot
into my boots, clutch my coat to me
and go out into the twenty degree night
just to be with Her, direct.
And because I went alone,
without a camera,
without a phone,
she gave me a secret
that not even I can know.
She stared down at my looking up,
so bright that dreaming mothers
everywhere mumbled
you’ll hurt your eyes
in their sleep.
I gave Her my watching
and it opened a vein
to the primordial yearn, the pull
upward into darkness and stars,
the desire to be seen by that one
unknowable, fat, bright
eye in the head
of the body
of god.
And because I’m not on social media,
and this moment would never be
posted, or liked, or shared, or
commented on by anyone
ever,
it went viral
through my being,
body and bones,
and
She saw me.
Tina Lear is a writer and mother of three really interesting humans. She founded the Long Island Dharmata Shangha, and is currently navigating the liminal world between her past and her future. Doing her best to be in the present. She lives in Floral Park with her beloved wife.
