“Go to Your Edge, then Soften.”

Great advice from Tara Brach for anyone facing hard times.

Image courtesy of adobestock

God bless the woman shown above. I don’t know her, but she is a real human whose image ended up in the adobestock collection. She stands out because she’s the only one in this virtual sea of images who embodies the true starkness of the devastation of dementia.

Nobody wants to see her. Our culture actively runs away from her. For example, try searching for “dementia patient” in adobestock.com, and then hit “images.”

Nothing is more infuriating. It’s all smiles. Or perfectly healthy people, slumping over on purpose, making sad faces in their beds. Or the gentle elderly doing puzzles with encouraging nurses at their sides. Jesus, you can practically hear the Disney birds tweeting in the background.

Nowhere is the real deal represented.

Nowhere will you see the caregivers’ bone deep frustration, their faces hardened by an unending Sicyphean labor.

Nowhere will you see the lost and furious shell of a once functioning human, trying to machete their way through the jungle of chaos into what they want to say.

Nowhere will you see the mouth bit shut against food or medicine, the desperate arms reaching for then shoving away assistance.