Can We Just Ride the Ride?

Taking all the story out of depression, and just being with it.

Photo by Albin Berlin from Pexels

Depression isn’t fun, but it is impermanent. And just like being on a rollercoaster, wishing you weren’t on it, making it mean something that you’re on it, trying to get off before the ride is over, or trying to make it stop — all those efforts are wasted energy.

Might as well just ride the ride.

For the past few months, I’ve gone down some black holes that are familiar territory for me. I was thinking things like:

This medication makes me feel like a zombie.
But when I don’t take it, I just want to Go Away.
Which is worse?
I’m done with this pain.
I can’t carry any more pain.
I can’t.

All my life, I’ve tried to eradicate, extract, heal from, deal with, do something about depression. As though it were the obstacle, the challenge, the issue.

But what if it’s not?
What if this is just the rollercoaster ride I happen to be on right now?

At amusement parks, we ride rollercoasters because they’re exciting. We want to feel that sense of I’mGonnaDie!I’mGonnaDie! followed by the rush of not…