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Walking my little puppy down the street, I was all up in my own importance. Obsessing over my health and what to do about it. Seizure medication that I hate. The desire to get off anti-depressants. Wondering whether an Ayurvedic diet is better than a vegan one. Or just no diet at all. Would I feel better if I just didn’t worry about food so much?
Oh my God, so much me me me. I got tired of my own self.
I’ve often led a meditation called White Water, where we visualize ourselves as a smooth pebble tossed into the river, looking up at the white water from our resting place on the riverbed. All the white water being our thoughts, our plans, our regrets, etc. That one is a good one.
But on this walk, it hit me — what if it’s more like this: You, me, we’re all drops of water in the river, the ocean, the pond, whatever. I’m just one drop. As I work with that image, my self-importance shrinks.
If I’m a drop of water, there’s really no room, no time for handwringing about which foods to eat or leave out, or stopping or starting medication. There’s no achievement in a drop of water. No pride or shame. No success, no failure. As I move through my day, in the body of a drop of water, suddenly there’s no judgment about what I’m doing, or how, or why.
