10 New Traditions for Holiday Visits

A Grinch spitballs new rules to make family visits more fun.

tinalear

--

image courtesy of stock.adobe.com

There are people in the world who love this holiday season. They are so excited when it comes, and they relish the decorating and the smiling and the lights. They make a thousand cookies and give them away and…

I’m not one of them.
I think it’s only been in recent years that I’ve become such a grinch, but maybe I’ve been one for much longer than that. Granted, this past year has been rough. Losses, grief, upheavals. Plus, all the isolation that’s been ground into us by Covid protocols — that’s taken a toll on all of us.

So is anyone else terrified of an upcoming family visit? If so, read on. Sometimes traditions are either lacking or they’re worn out. But what if we could start from scratch? Where are the little nooks and crannies where we can actually control how things happen? And if we could make new traditions, new rules, what would they be?

Here are my 10 New Traditions for Holiday Visits:

  1. Establish the TIME OUT room, where, at any time, and for any reason, anyone can go or be sent. Could be one end of the couch. Or someone’s room. Just…when things get to be too much, that’s where you go, with or without your drink. And nobody bothers you about it.
  2. Anyone can leave whenever they need to, no questions asked. How many gatherings have you wanted to leave, but you couldn’t because yada yada yada. My rules? You get to leave whenever you want. Nobody guilts you. You get to come back whenever you want, too. No. Questions. Asked. Ever.
  3. Watch the movies in your own head. As soon as you find yourself reacting (for me it’s a combination of urgency, rage, and a desire to break things with my hands), you have to excuse yourself and go to the Time Out room (or outside). Then, watch the movie that’s playing in your mind about whatever just happened that got you so upset. Feel into how invested you are in being right. Get in touch with everything you think you “know.” And then, magically, unknow it, because you don’t actually know anything (See #4)
  4. Respect how much you don’t know — about yourself, about your family, and about “them,” the…

--

--

tinalear

Novelist. Poet. Musician. Buddhist. Quilter. Animal lover. Visible grownup. Hidden child. Secret dancer when all alone. Makes good bread.